So, I went to have the chemotherapy port installed on Friday. It's a small device, approximately the size and shape of a contact case-- two distinct circles, side by side, with an attached catheter of sorts. And it's inserted high on my left chest wall.
Charlie and I showed up about 9:30 for the 11:30 procedure. This was the third time in 3 weeks I'd done this-- first for the colonoscopy on 6/24, and then for the actual surgery on 6/26. I knew the routine and all the nurses remembered me. My doctors characterized it as a very minor procedure-- would only take about 15 min. Then we'd be good to go and ready to start chemo in a couple of weeks.
I tolerated the procedure very well, was actually awake as I left the OR. I chatted with the nurse (intelligently, I might add-- not post-surgery gibberish), who was amazed at how well I did and I was amazed at how well I felt. No pain at all! Couldn't wait to get home. (I think I mentioned "Old Pam" was fully running the show at this point.) Caitlin-- who has a very odd fascination with my wounds-- insisted on taking a picture of my new incision with her cell phone. (Geez, probably on YouTube by now...). All in all, a neat and tidy procedure accomplished with a minimum of pain or hassle, and I got right back to my life.
WRONG!!! Nobody mentioned that when the anesthesia wore off it would feel like someone had carved out my solar plexus with a dull melon baller-- YIKES! Thank God for the pain meds, which at the moment I am taking faithfully every 6 hours. I don't remember having this much PAIN (yeah, the hospital likes to say "discomfort," but it's PAIN) with my original surgery and 12-inch incision. Of course, they were giving me intravenous drugs so maybe they just kept me doped up and I didn't know...
So, it wasn't bad enough I walked bent over like an old crone, protecting my incision and midsection. Now the left half of my body is useless as well, and my arm just sort of hangs there, like a decoration. Sigh... it's kind of like Cancer Pam is trying to beat the s**t out of Old Pam. But, as evidenced by this blog entry, Old Pam is in charge today! Wish me luck...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I am so sorry you are going through this. However, you will be most grateful for this port!! Kara had one most of the time and it really saves your veins and future pain down the road. All of this really sucks but they do know what is best and they want to make this journey as easy as possible. Do not wimp out and try to be strong and not take pain meds. They are your friends when you need them!
ReplyDeleteOld Pam will win. She will find strength she never knew existed. She will find humor in most things and this humor will help carry the day. She will fight to regain her ability to do things herself. She will win!
A new Pam will also emerge. A new Pam that embraces life. A new Pam that develops a deep spiritual life knowing how precious her days are and an awareness that death is 100% certain for all humanity. A new Pam that will stop and smell the roses, linger over a chocolate truffle, love the touch of her husbands embrace, her children's care and concerns and she will not sweat the small stuff.
I cannot give you encouragement with out taking you back to scripture. God is walking this journey with you. He will get you through this.
Psalm 58:8-9 You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?
When I cry out to You,Then my enemies will turn back;This I know, because God is for me.
Your friend, Claudia