Doctor's visit

Today I went back to see my surgeon, Dr. Greg Roberts. I love him and feel so blessed that he's in charge of my care. He made me feel better about my ups and downs. The first week I was home I really seemed to feel better and maneuver better each day. I expected it to continue. WRONG! This week has been tough. I felt like as my incision healed, everything else should get better as well, but Dr. Roberts says it's very much an up and down thing and to not be discouraged. This week I haven't even had the energy to work on my emails. Seems like a simple thing, but especially for work, I have to put on the "Pam persona" and exude positive (with customers), and I couldn't do it. Maybe the weekend will be better...

Also, I haven't slept worth a nickel this week. Was trying hard not to take the Percocet any more, and the sleep prescription alone wasn't cutting it. Haven't slept well all week. Dr. Roberts says I should take whatever I need to sleep-- percocet is fine by him. Made me feel better and hopeful I'll sleep tonight.

He also told me he was surprised by how quickly I was able to leave the hospital. He had fully expected me to stay 10 days AFTER the surgery, and I was able to leave only a week later. He said the insurance company was probably happy about that. (Glad somebody's happy!).

Tomorrow I'm having the port inserted for my chemotherapy. It's an outpatient procedure, but requires anesthesia, etc. Talk about deja vue!!! I can't say I'm looking forward to it. He said I should expect to be sore (like I've been punched...) for 3-5 days afterwards. Again, just when sleep and some relief seems to be at hand-- new hurts! Caitlin will post for me this weekend and update you all on that.

An unexpected thought came to me last night (while I was lying awake...), and I decided it was a gift. If I had to have cancer, I think I found out the best way possible. I woke from the anesthesia, was told, and the planning began for my surgery. Also, I got good drugs from the start and don't remember much about the interim between the diagnosis and the surgery. And I'm grateful for that. How much worse it would be have been to find out via a test or doctor's visit and then have to come home and dwell on it while the planning and scheduling commenced. I think the worry alone could drive you out of your mind, so I thank God I didn't have to endure that as well.

Please keep praying for me-- your prayers help more than you will ever know!