Tuesday, November 24, 2009
I'm still here...
Here I am. It just recently occurred to me that if one has a major illness and starts a blog, and one's friends and relatives are caring enough to check the blog and see how one is doing, then "one" has an obligation to post with some regularity. Otherwise, people will think "one" has dropped off the face of the earth. Not. I'm still here.
I feel as if I'm running in place these days. I keep going, and life is passing by on the sides, but I'm not making any measurable progress, which is frustrating. And they keep moving the finish line on me!!! I started chemo in early August, and was slated for 12 sessions, one every other week for 6 months. I'm now 4 months into the process and have had only 5 sessions. Very frustrating!
I've had numerous interruptions. First, they couldn't get my white blood cell count up after the first treatment, so a delay of several weeks. Then my oncologist moved offices-- another interruption. Then I had to have surgery to remove melanoma on my ear-- another delay. And most recently, personal things to do, causing another delay. To add to this, my oncologist took "medical leave" beginning Oct. 1 and I've not seen a doctor since then. Nobody seems to know what's wrong with him, or they're not saying. Meanwhile they divvied up his patients among other doctors and physician assistants in the practice. I've been seeing a physician's assistant since then.
So that's all the medical drama. I seem to have one speed these days: s-l-o-w-w-w-w. I sleep a lot and everything seems to take more energy than I have. To run an errand or go out for some reason, really takes my whole day in preparing and then recovering. Also, I'm pretty committed to the wig and hats these days. I have 42 hairs left, and I'm not shaving them. But it's not enough to go out in public. And although that makes my prep time quicker, I'm still not used to it. I feel like I have a dead muskrat on my head with a neon sign that says "Cancer!" I'm hoping this will pass.
On a personal note: Ben and Caitlin are still living with us. And Ben's 75-lb. Siberian huskie who thinks he's a lap dog and sheds constantly. I'm hoping we won't be condemned by the Board of Health before he and dog move out (next Friday!!!!). Between dog's shedding and my hair loss we truly live in the "House of Hair." And not in a good way.
Allison's baby continues to be a delight to all of us. She's had some trouble gaining weight-- she's only 6 oz over her birth weight after 9 weeks. But she went to doctor again this week and he's changed formula for her so we are hopeful this will work. Developmentally she's on the mark; she just needs to gain weight.
Charlie's mom passed away last week-- the end of a long good-bye. She'd had Alzheimer's for 10 years. While it wasn't unexpected, it was difficult. My mother-in-law raised 11 children and did a fantastic job with all of them. There are 24 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren. So while it was a sad occasion, it was also a celebration of her life and legacy.
Charlie is thankfully working. He took an independent contractor position with a local company in early October.There are no benefits but we're able to maintain and put food on the table so God does provide. I've left this one up to Him-- I have too much on my plate to worry about income as well.
We are looking forward to Thanksgiving this week, and my prayer for all of you is that you are surrounded by family (& good food). Be thankful for what you have because there are no guarantees in life! Thank you for your prayers!
I feel as if I'm running in place these days. I keep going, and life is passing by on the sides, but I'm not making any measurable progress, which is frustrating. And they keep moving the finish line on me!!! I started chemo in early August, and was slated for 12 sessions, one every other week for 6 months. I'm now 4 months into the process and have had only 5 sessions. Very frustrating!
I've had numerous interruptions. First, they couldn't get my white blood cell count up after the first treatment, so a delay of several weeks. Then my oncologist moved offices-- another interruption. Then I had to have surgery to remove melanoma on my ear-- another delay. And most recently, personal things to do, causing another delay. To add to this, my oncologist took "medical leave" beginning Oct. 1 and I've not seen a doctor since then. Nobody seems to know what's wrong with him, or they're not saying. Meanwhile they divvied up his patients among other doctors and physician assistants in the practice. I've been seeing a physician's assistant since then.
So that's all the medical drama. I seem to have one speed these days: s-l-o-w-w-w-w. I sleep a lot and everything seems to take more energy than I have. To run an errand or go out for some reason, really takes my whole day in preparing and then recovering. Also, I'm pretty committed to the wig and hats these days. I have 42 hairs left, and I'm not shaving them. But it's not enough to go out in public. And although that makes my prep time quicker, I'm still not used to it. I feel like I have a dead muskrat on my head with a neon sign that says "Cancer!" I'm hoping this will pass.
On a personal note: Ben and Caitlin are still living with us. And Ben's 75-lb. Siberian huskie who thinks he's a lap dog and sheds constantly. I'm hoping we won't be condemned by the Board of Health before he and dog move out (next Friday!!!!). Between dog's shedding and my hair loss we truly live in the "House of Hair." And not in a good way.
Allison's baby continues to be a delight to all of us. She's had some trouble gaining weight-- she's only 6 oz over her birth weight after 9 weeks. But she went to doctor again this week and he's changed formula for her so we are hopeful this will work. Developmentally she's on the mark; she just needs to gain weight.
Charlie's mom passed away last week-- the end of a long good-bye. She'd had Alzheimer's for 10 years. While it wasn't unexpected, it was difficult. My mother-in-law raised 11 children and did a fantastic job with all of them. There are 24 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren. So while it was a sad occasion, it was also a celebration of her life and legacy.
Charlie is thankfully working. He took an independent contractor position with a local company in early October.There are no benefits but we're able to maintain and put food on the table so God does provide. I've left this one up to Him-- I have too much on my plate to worry about income as well.
We are looking forward to Thanksgiving this week, and my prayer for all of you is that you are surrounded by family (& good food). Be thankful for what you have because there are no guarantees in life! Thank you for your prayers!
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